if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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