I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
