I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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