In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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