Well douche your snatch and let's go!
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Randomize
