having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
