just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
