you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Randomize
