Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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