let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
