Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
