I think my fart just growled at me.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
