My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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