9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
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