Nicole vs. Life
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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