I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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