the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
All the doctor said was why
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
