we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I think we might need a safe word for this...
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
