I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
