Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
This is the prime rib incident all over again
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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