i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Randomize
