You're a womanizer and a bitch.
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
