dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
