we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
