still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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