i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
God, I missed his penis.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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