So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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