I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
