god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
