when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
