just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
