well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
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