I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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