is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
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