Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Randomize
