Where is the hickey?
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
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