He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Everyone says I win the strip club
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
