Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
