They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Randomize
