Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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