it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Pooping to opera.
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