I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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