i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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