He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize