Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
