Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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