I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
