FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize
