Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
You brought string cheese to the strip club
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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