Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Randomize