I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
