everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Randomize
