Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
He shit in the fireplace
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
