Is it normal to miss your booty call?
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Randomize
