I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize