it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
