I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
