so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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