I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
