he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
