Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
