I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
