Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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