I wannas sexs uuuuu
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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