The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
