What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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