How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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