I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
