Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
